Leaving an (Eternal) Legacy

"Take and eat this bread and drink from this cup. Know that Christ loves you deeply and I do too. I don't have much more time with you, but remember his death and resurrection, believe in Christ and we will one day have a glorious family reunion in heaven."

My grandfather said these words to his 31 family members who were huddled in a living room which was far too small for us on an Easter afternoon in late April in the year 2000.

They were the last words I heard from him. He died that night.

I was 17 years old, about to graduate high school, and had no plans to follow in his ministry footsteps.

Why would I? My grandfather wasn't around for much of my childhood.

Sure, we vacationed together when I was 13 and he visited during the summers through my high school years, but during my most formative period, the early years in which grandparents spend time babysitting and spoiling their children's children, they weren't around.

My childhood story isn't uncommon.  Ministry demands sacrifices and as the oldest grandchild of missionaries, I involuntarily made one that most do not need to.

Reflecting on my relationship with him now,  one might think that I have grown cold toward him. 

Yet, a few years after his passing, I found myself sitting in a lecture hall in the same seminary in which he occasionally taught while on home assignment.  My professor said a line that has stayed with me since that afternoon, "The people of your church will never be able to learn everything that you know. But, they will latch on to whatever you are most passionate about."

I remember my grandfather raising his voice at the NBA refs who would allow certain players to get away with fouls because of the player's reputation in the late 90s. I remember the joy in his voice over the telephone after the Minnesota Twins won the World Series in 1991. And, I can't forget the smile on his face that was there every time he would tell the same dumb joke on New Year's Eve. I won't repeat it. It still doesn't make sense.

But, on his final day, just before his last hour, he made it abundantly clear to family members what he is most passionate about.

Moving his family from a successful business in Minnesota to train for ministry in Dallas, packing his bags in Dallas to move to the distant places of Venezuela, missing family celebrations, sacrificing wealth, prestige, and worldly power, all of this, was done because of the same passion.

What my grandfather's children and grandchildren will remember most are not the years lost or the precious moments taken away from them due to ministry commitments.

What we will cherish most about our grandfather is his legacy fueled by his lifelong, inextinguishable, burning passion.

A passion for the glory of God in the gospel of Jesus Christ, beyond this, my grandfather knew there is no worthwhile legacy.

Although theologically I know that I cannot communicate directly with him now, if I could, I'd say this.

"Thank you, Grandpa, for spending your life magnifying Jesus. I'll see you soon and I am going to bring as many people to our family reunion as I can."

5 Indicators that there is Hope for a Troubled Marriage

My wife and I have counseled many troubled marriages. As I have worked closely with married couples, I find that there are, at least, five indicators that reveal hope for the marriage amid turmoil.

1. The husband is willing to do whatever it takes to sacrificially love his wife.  

This means owning his past, taking responsibility for failures, being honest about his own weaknesses, and cultivating an environment of vulnerability. If a man hides his failures, dominates or controls his wife, cowers in fear because he is intimidated by her, or seeks satisfaction outside of the marriage without taking responsibility for these actions, the failure of the marriage is entirely his responsibility. Conversely, regardless of what she has done to him, if he chooses to love her with self-sacrificial, redemptive actions, there is hope.

2. The wife is willing to restore her trust in her husband, even if he doesn't deserve it.

She has a front row seat in the blunders of her man. She knows the areas of his life in which he consistently fails and has felt the pain of his mistakes.  He is responsible for his actions and they directly affect her, but if a wife has confidence that her husband will learn from his mistakes without seeking to expose them for her own gain or find comfort in an unhealthy manner, her trust in him supplies an amount of hope for the marriage that can't be measured.

3. They tolerate the failures of one another without accepting them.

A wife shouldn't overlook the fact that she married a man who regularly views pornography, if those are his actions. He is who he is. But, she should never accept that behavior as healthy for the marriage. A husband should remain gentle toward a wife he is wedded to if she can't control her tongue and consistently undermines him. But, he should never stop trying to address it in a redemptive way.

4. They are not too proud to seek help.

I have yet to meet a married couple that doesn't need counselling.  There is wisdom to be gained from those who are experienced.  Outsiders can see things that are troubling a marriage easier than the couple who is living it. Sometimes, a divorce can be avoided with a simple phone call to a trusted, yet truthful, friend who will help set in motion a plan toward reconcilation. Unfortunately, many times a marriage is dissolved simply because one or both parties refuses to humble themselves.

5. They refuse to give up.

You can't stop a person who is hellbent on divorce. But, regardless of the baggage, every marriage can be redeemed. Until the dissolution papers are signed before the judge, if the couple refuses to throw in the towel, even if they need to forgive each other 490 more times before the end of the week, there is hope.

Dear Doctor Counseling Me the Day after My Miscarriage

[Guest article by Andrea Anderson in response to "Dear Doctor Performing My Abortion"]

Dear Doctor Counseling Me the Day after My Miscarriage,

As an OB/GYN, you have a difficult job. You work closely with women who write bewildering things like this. That is why I am expressing my appreciation of you now.

Thank you for looking at me with compassion. I know am not the only woman who has lost a child in the womb, but it was easy to feel like no one else understood the pain of that experience. But, you did.

Maybe you just came from the next room, advising a woman on the options of voluntarily ending her pregnancy – letting her know how she is legally permitted to end the life of the child in her womb.

Thank you for telling me how much my miscarriage – the involuntary end of my pregnancy – must hurt. Thank you for telling me that it was not my fault.

Maybe the woman in the next room is hurting too.

Thank you for telling me that this is the worst part of your job – that babies are supposed to be born to women under your care, not taken away from them.

Maybe the woman in the next room thinks that aborting her baby will be the best option for herself and her future children. Maybe she even thinks it’s a worthy sacrifice.

Thank you for showing me my baby’s heartbeat just 24 hours ago.

Maybe that woman hasn’t heard her baby’s heartbeat. Maybe she can only hear her own. Maybe she hasn’t seen her baby’s body. Maybe she just thinks it’s her body, her choice.

Thank you for telling me how it is good to grieve the death of my child. Thank you for telling me that I would get pregnant again, that I would have another child.

Maybe the death of her child will bring her relief. Maybe her pregnancy is inconvenient – the wrong time, the wrong man, the wrong way.

Thank you for telling me that my miscarriage would help me see how special my next child would be.  I’m glad I will be able to tell him some day that the grief of my miscarriage produced the joy of his life.

Maybe the woman in the next room plans to tell her future children who she destroyed for them, finding relief in thinking it will make their lives better.

Thank you for reminding me of my beautiful one-year-old daughter and my husband who will cry with me.

Maybe the woman in the next room is alone. Maybe she only has the support of people justifying her right to choose. Maybe someday they will see the irony of rejoicing with her, but weeping with me.

I wish I could have done something to save my baby. I wish I could do something to save hers. 

Jesus Tore The Naughty List

My kids are more excited to open their presents tomorrow than a freshman science major is to see the release of J.J. Abrams, Star Wars, Episode VII, The Force Awakens.

We don't make a big deal about Santa in our house and we don't think it is wrong for any families who do. Ole Saint Nick is a hero that should be treasured in the hearts of children and we don't mind telling them the truth about the jolly old, generous man who gave away substantial gifts to poor children.

In our house, we try to make a big deal about Jesus during Christmas and, likewise, we don't find the scent of moralism very appealing, even when it is wrapped in Christmas cheer.

Moralism is an ancient problem with modern, venomous fangs.

Moralism says, "God loves the good guys and hates the bad guys. Good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people."

Like most whole lies, it is half true.  God wants us to be good and do good.  In fact, he created humans and declared them, "Very good."

The problem comes, however, when we realize who we really are. This side of Adam and Eve, we aren't good people who are a little rough around the edges. We are evil to the bone.  Our entire life is permanently etched into God's naughty list (Romans 3:23). 

This is why we try to avoid telling our kids that we will give them Christmas gifts if they are good.

We know they ain't.

We know they try hard and want to obey mommy and daddy as much as they can, but deep down, our four and two year old are just as consumed with their own well-being as Paris Hilton. They aren't as bad as they possibly could be, but they aren't sparkling images of pure innocence either.

But, Jesus is.

Peter tells us that "Jesus committed no sin nor was deceit found in his mouth." (1 Peter 2:22).

When you trace back the story of Ole Mr. Claus (Saint Nicolas), you come face to face with a man who was moved by the poverty of children to use his resources for their benefit.

When you look into the manger, you see where he might have been motivated.  The first Christmas shows us a perfectly obedient child who grew into the human that we were all destined to be, but could never attain in our own effort.  In his cradle, we see the baby's face who would become the young man who would hang on the cross - giving his spotless life for ours that has filled the naughty list with stains.

Jesus didn't come to give the gift of his life for those on the nice list for that year, he came because he knew no one else, in all of their effort, could make the list.

And because he came, his broken body on the cross ripped the naughty list into pieces and opened freely given spots for our children's lives to be transferred into the Heavenly list by faith, not moral effort.

He didn't do this because we were good, he did this because he is love.

When your children ask you why you are giving them presents this year,  I hope you don't resort to any newly clothed moralism.  I pray that you can tell them the same thing that God tells us.  

"I am not giving you this present because you have been good this year, I am giving you this present because I love you."

Merry (Gospel-Centered) Christmas.

Exodus: Gods and Kings Delivers

Sitting in my seat as the credits were rolling in the theater last night, I felt like the Principal of Billy Madison's school:

Exodus: Gods and Kings, what you've just shown me is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent film were you even close to anything that could be considered an entertaining scene. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having seen it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

When I discovered that the director behind of one of my favorite films, "Gladiator," who also directed the greatest commercial of all time, "Apple Mac: 1984," was involved in an epic film based on one of my most treasured narratives, I mentally circled it as a date night on my calendar with my wife.

But, halfway through the feature length epic, I found myself longing for the film to end more than Glenn Beck desires for 2016 to come and finish off Obama's presidency.

I didn't hate the film because of its portrayal of Almighty God as a prepubescent vindictive deity who is more unsure of himself than an uncoordinated middle school boy in gym class.

I didn't hate the film because of its cheesy British accents, its shallow portrayal of faith, or its wasted visual beauty.

I hated it because I wasn't entertained.

I couldn't relate to Moses. I didn't empathize with the plight of the Israelites. I didn't even hate the sinful Egyptians.  They weren't the evil overlords who enslaved other humans for their own pleasure and spit in the face of God, they were just simply poor capitalists who were a little too clumsy and greedy.

At the few points where the film could have grabbed me, it fell faster than Adam and Eve at a garden party hosted by a serpent serving forbidden fruit.  Moses's relationship to Ramses could have driven the entire film, but the interplay between the two was more forced and awkward than teacher assigned lab partners on the first day of biology class freshman year. The on-screen relationship had the tension potential of Maximus (Russell Crowe) and Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix) in Gladiator. But, even one of the best directors in Hollywood couldn't salvage the dry, emotionless writing of the studio sanctioned attempt to pander to both mainstream and evangelical culture.

As an evangelical, I know that the Word of God is the primary source for my spiritual nourishment and I am not offended when Hollywood completely botches the stories I love from it.  But, Hollywood should produce a compelling story regardless of its faithfulness to the original to keep me in my seat and entertained. This is why I enjoyed Noah. Hollywood created a great story.  I connected with the main character and found it to be overall, entertaining. I won't let it sit in my church's library, but I'd recommend it to Netflix subscribers for an evening on the couch with their spouse.

I think this is what made me most upset. The film's blatant disregard for the storytelling tastes of evangelicals.  

This is why I was shocked to find a Hollywood produced film that was attempting to engage evangelicals by lowering their own storytelling standards.  

Christian films, like Fireproof, God's Not Dead, and Facing the Giants, have been scrutinized by mainstream critics for presenting a romanticized view of faith that doesn't look like the reality they live in. 

On the contrary, films that win Academy Awards are those who take a hard look a social issues, create a compelling narrative, and deliver it with thespian excellence regardless of whether it will be received well by religious folks or not.

Exodus tried to find a way out of the poor quality of religious films while maintaining a quasi-religious message.

But, in the end, it won't find the promise land of the evangelical DVD collection or the Oscars, the only place Exodus: Gods and Kings will be delivered is into the trash can.

 

A Lament for Ferguson

(AP Photo)

(AP Photo)

Lord have mercy on us.

We enslaved your people, forced them to work for our profit against your will for 200 years, and have now relinquished responsibility for reconciliation because it was the sins of our forefathers rather than our own.

Lord have mercy on us.

We have perpetuated lies that have marginalized our brothers and sisters due to the color of their skin and sins that are different from our own.

Lord have mercy on us.

Rather than seek to understand, we have been quick to defend and point the finger.

Lord have mercy on us.

Rather than highlight testimonies of grace, redemption, and self-sacrifice, we have indulged our senses through images of burning buildings, looting, and chaos.

Lord have mercy on us.

Rather than respect the authority you have sovereignly placed over us, we are outraged and have taken justice into our own hands.

Lord have mercy on us.

Rather than remain steadfast in our commitment to non-violent protest, we have nurtured our anger by fighting the sword with the sword.

Lord have mercy on us.

We have justified systemic racism.

Lord have mercy on us.

We have blamed the system for sins we are personally responsible for.

Lord have mercy on us.

Our churches have become cowardly, fearful, silent, or reactionary in the face of some of the largest issues of injustice in our day.

Lord have mercy on us.

We have sought help, hope, and healing from worldly powers who are passing away rather than your eternal, steadfast grace.

Lord have mercy on us.

We are reminded afresh that apart from your sovereign hand of grace, our world would deteriorate into anarchic self-indulgence.

Lord have mercy on us.

Without you, we are hopelessly lost.

Lord, have mercy not only on us for these things, but on me for my contribution to them.

Things I Won't Regret Teaching my Son

Things I won't regret Teaching my son 2.JPG

My son just turned two years old. Right now, I am teaching him how to use complete sentences and the potty.  Someday, I'll teach him how to throw a curve-ball, go in hard for a clean, two-footed tackle, and fly-fish for king salmon.

But, more important that those things, I feel the obligation to teach him a few things that I won't regret.

1. Respect your mom. 

First of all, she's my wife. You mess with her, you mess with me. Also, she's the woman who has given more of her time and energy for your well-being than anyone on the planet.  There is nothing that you can ever do to repay her and she isn't seeking it, but until you breathe your last breath, respect her.

2. Earn your way.

I love you. Your mom loves you. Jesus loves you. However, just because you are unconditionally loved and accepted by us, doesn't mean you can take anything for granted. If you work hard in school, win yourself a bride, earn a living wage, and pop out a few kids of your own, then, someday, maybe, you just might have a slight chance of understanding the cost of what it has taken for mom, dad, and Christ to love you the way that we love you. Until then, keep your hand to the plow and don't look back.

3. Never stop learning. 

The moment you stop learning is the moment you stop living.  Access to the leading thinkers throughout all of human history is at your fingertips like no other generation before you. Nothing, not philosophy, theology, astrophysics, microbiology, or quantum mechanics is off limits to you.  Hit the books. If they hit you back, hit them harder.

4. Think and feel deeply. 

Drink deeply in the fountain of truth and let it grip your heart and take you places that you never dreamed. Learn about the unique smell of your wife's breath that no one else on knows. Study the wetness of water as it swishes in your mouth and quenches your thirst. Notice the steam escalating from a cup of coffee during a spirited debate with a friend about an important matter. Think deeply, but don't forget to allow your heart to soak up every moment of this gift we call life.

5. Spend time with brothers, not buddies. 

Buddies will use you. Brothers will fight for you. Never mix up the two. Don't waste your time with buddies. Freely sacrifice yourself for those who you are privileged enough to call a "brother."

6. Get dirty, but stay organized. 

You've got a ton of work to do. Every man does.  You won't get anything done without getting your hands a little dirty.  But, don't let the amount of work you need to accomplish clog up your life.  You won't be able to do anything if you can't stay on track. Plan well, work hard, stay organized and you will get stuff done.

7.  Protect your sexual integrity.

Other boys will try to make fun of you for being a virgin.  They are stupid.  Men are designed to protect the purity of women so that they aren't abused by foolish men.  An honorable man shouldn't even lay eyes on a woman sexually if she is not his wife.  This means that you are never permitted to view pornography (in whatever form it takes), have an elicit conversation with a woman who is not your wife, or treat any woman as a object for your gratification. Do this and you will be an honorable man. If they think they are mocking you for highlighting your sexual integrity, they are fools.

8. Grace wins.

You won't be able to live up to the standards that your mom and I (and God) have for you. Come clean quickly. Seek grace. And, let the abundant supply that God has for you fuel your pursuit of his glorious calling upon your life.

Why Lecrae Ain't Nuthin' Special

photo credit reachrecords.com

photo credit reachrecords.com

I like (Grammy award winning hip-hop artist) Lecrae.

I have purchased (a lot of) his music.

I watched him on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon perform a few of his tracks with the in-house band, The Roots, from his new album, Anomaly (which, by the way, debuted at #1 on Billboard 200 and is currently #35).

According to Christianity Today, it was the first time a Christian rapper has ever performed on late night television.

Before we Tim Tebow this situation, I'd like to help us think through a few reasons why Lecrae ain't nothing special.

Lecrae's talent speaks for itself.  He began his music career as a part of a growing movement of artists like Sho Baraka, Shai Linne, Trip Lee, Flame, Anthony Mineo, and others who are producing excellent hip hop songs with a reformed edge. Because the mainstream hip hop engine is fueled by aggressive and explicit lyrics, the arresting (and even theologically controversial within evangelicalism) message in most reformed rap fits like a new pair of Jordan's on a blue-chip high school basketball prospect.

This is why it shouldn't surprise us that Lecrae's popularity has resulted in a Grammy, a appearance on late night television, and a national tour that is selling out many large venues. We should expect the missiologically strategic sub-genre of reformed rap to produce music that is attractive to a mainstream hip hop audience because it is performed thoughtfully with cultural awareness and excellence.

But, let's not lose our individual vocational trees by being star struck with the entertainment industry's forest.

As a good reformed artist, Lecrae knows he is just a microphone in the hands of the Master MC who is amplifying a message that existed long before TuPac faked his own death (like a delusional Elvis fan, I still hold out hope).

Yet, Lecrae can fall faster than his album Gravity rose to win a Grammy.

And that's okay.

The gravitas of Lecrae's theology demands that he think of himself as grounded to an earthly existence that is utterly fallen. Inescapably bound to a heart that is enslaved to its own desires apart from divine intervention.

That ain't a flowery view of oneself that permits self-aggrandizement.

It's hopeless in itself.

Rap about it in any way that he might like, but, like every other creature spinning at 67,000 miles per hour on this pile of dirt in outer space, he ain't nuthin'.

Lecrae knows this and raps about it passionately.

But, do you?

Lecrae's calling to produce excellent art for the joy of millions needs constant, theological reflection that keeps his pride in check.

But, most of us are not headlining national tours with our name in lights. The majority of our vocations do not demand us to humble ourselves.

For millions of us, our vocation is humbling in itself.

We change diapers and mow lawns. We plunge toilets and work jobs that bring us little applause.

Before we let the success of others drown our endeavors in self-despair, we should admit the obvious.

Self-pity is as sinful as pride.

Pride says, "I am better than others, therefore, I am special."

Self-pity says, "I am worse than others, therefore, I am special."

The truth is, Lecrae ain't special and neither are you.

But, Lecrae has a special calling and so do you. 

A calling, by its very definition, cannot be self-serving nor self-pitying because it is accomplished for the glory of another.

Changing a diaper keeps the most needy humans clean.  Mowing a lawn paves the way for friends, family, and neighbors to enjoy themselves at your home without fear of being bitten by a creature slithering through your unkempt grass.

Whether you are a plumber, school-teacher, CEO, or airplane mechanic, you are called.

Like Lecrae, you ain't nuthin' special in yourself.

But, the reason you were placed on this planet is glorious.

Listen to the voice who is calling and you will fulfill it.

And that, my friends, is special.

 

Why I (Still) Love Mark Driscoll

Mark Driscoll and the church he pastors, Mars Hill Church, have been officially removed from the church planting network he co-founded, the Acts 29 Network.

The church I pastor does not have any formal association with Mars Hill, Acts 29, or Mark Driscoll, but I have been personally influenced by his ministry since the first message I heard from him at the Desiring God National Conference in 2006 and the first time I met Driscoll at the pastor's colloquium at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School hosted by the Gospel Coalition in 2008.

During a time like this, the simple (and sinful) thing to do for those not directly involved in Driscoll's life and ministry is to pile on - to renounce a fallen brother and highlight the transgressions that led to this action in a less than sophisticated game of "I told you so." If you don't know the public reasons that led to this action, simply google Driscoll's name. But, in doing so, guard your soul. Staring at a car accident too long without lending help is sick.

That, however, is not the reason for this post.

I am confident in the Lord's severe mercy to deal with Driscoll as he sees fit.  Those closest to the situation, men like Matt Chandler, Darrin Patrick, and others appear to be dealing with him or appealing for him to be dealt with in a manner that is worthy of the gospel and I pray that the remaining elders of Mars Hill do so as well. It would be hard to call myself reformed without trusting in God's uncompromising sovereignty over the discipline of his children.

In this post, I'd simply like to highlight reasons for my continued love for Mark Driscoll.

1.  Driscoll is a sinner and God loves sinners.

In Matthew 18, the process for church discipline concludes with treating the fallen person as a Gentile or tax collector.  How did Jesus treat tax collectors and Gentiles? One doesn't need to look too far to see that Christ's transforming love in the gospel is not limited to the righteous. Treating a person as a tax collector or Gentile means treating them as one who desperately needs the gospel.  While this process takes place, I hope that the reformed community that he has influenced so heavily can engage him with the same gospel that reformed community preaches - unmerited grace for repentant sinners. This does not soften the process of discipline, it gives it the sharp teeth of grace.

2.  Driscoll's soul is more important than his ministry.

While I can't remember the last sermon of his I listened to, I do know that he has had a profound impact upon my ministry and calling.  My wife will tell you that I am a better husband, father, and pastor because of the words that Driscoll spoke during some of the early years of my spiritual and ministerial formation.  Yet, I will not be disappointed if he never publishes another book, preaches another sermon, organizes another conference, or offers any other leadership training.  To be a brother in Christ means that a commitment to one's character comes before the joy of receiving the benefit from one's spiritual gifts.  Let us care for Mark's soul more than his influence. As we should know, what does it profit a pastor to have the most influential ministry in the world, yet forfeit one's very own soul?

3. It's difficult to be angry with someone who you have prayed for diligently.

I still love Rob Bell. He is an engaging speaker with a cool style.  Yet, when he began drifting theologically, I began praying for him more consistently.  When I read Love Wins, it was a difficult pill to swallow.  What kept me from outrage was knowing that Bell was a human and God is sovereign. Since Driscoll resigned from the Gospel Coalition, I have made it a point to pray for him and his family more regularly.  As a pastor, I know the temptations and trials of ministry and the constant feeling that I live in a glass house. Prayer has given me the confidence to know that Mark Driscoll's antics are not final, his sins are not outside the scope of grace, and his life is not one that should be beyond my intercession.  

While he doesn't hold the same influence in my life as he once did, for the reasons stated above, I can confidently say, "I still love Mark Driscoll."

By God's grace, I hope you can too.

5 Ways To Help Those Who Are Suffering

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No sane person likes to suffer. Even more than that, no human likes to suffer alone.

Each of us has this internal desire to lend a helping hand to those we love when they are going through a difficult time.  

However, not all help is good help.

As a pastor, I have spent a large amount of time with many people who are suffering. I don't consider myself an expert in this area. In fact, I am writing this, in part, to help remind myself.

These guidelines are birthed out of hours in waiting rooms, holding hands and praying with friends, family, and members of our church, and just generally desiring to be more effective in loving and serving those I care about. By no means is this list exhaustive, but please apply these principles to your situation as you see fit.

1. Do things without being asked.

Suffering is confusing. Due to its chaotic nature, most sufferers do not really know what they need. It sounds nice to tell a friend who is suffering, "Let me know if I can do anything," but rarely does that ever translate into actual help. If a loved one is struggling, don't wait for them to ask you to do something for them. Like the Nike slogan says, "Just Do It."  Be wise and creative in your assistance, but respond quickly.

2. Be present, but give enough space.

One of the most encouraging things a sufferer can receive from a friend is a deep understanding that "I am with you in this." Yet, we shouldn't let that impulse overwhelm those we are trying to care for and we shouldn't try to console ourselves by looking to those who are suffering for our own comfort.  If we do these things, our help becomes counterproductive and it drains the sufferer more than it helps them.  If we need consolation, we should find outside help.  Some other practical tips include the following: (a) respect a hospital's visiting hours and their rules, (b) don't crowd a small hospital room with too many guests, (c) while it is permissible to ask for updates personally, don't bombard those grieving with a constant need for information, (d)  if you are not a close friend (interact with the person weekly or have a relationship that spans over ten years) or family member, wait for public announcements when the sufferer is ready to tell others of their condition, and (e) do whatever you can to communicate your solidarity with your loved one, but let the medical staff, professional care-givers, spiritual counselors, and close family and friends do their job.

3. Focus on quality, not quantity of help.

Most people think that they can best love and serve those who are suffering by doing a great amount of activity.  For close friends and family members who are uniquely positioned to provide a large amount of help, this is true.  But, for most, it is more helpful to the those suffering to focus on one or two significant things.  As a pastor, I focus on prayer, comfort, and counsel as I deem it necessary for a given situation. I don't pretend to be a medical professional. As a friend, it is probably most helpful to be attentive to the needs of the sufferer, have a listening ear, and respond in meaningful ways based on the friendship. In this, it is important to maintain consistent and faithful help during the entirety of sufferers experience. If a person is caring for a parent with Alzheimer's disease, the road is long.  A number of small visits will probably be more effective long term than one long one. Conversely, if a person is having a one-off surgery, it is important to act quickly before and after the surgery to show your care. For the sake of the person suffering, focus on high quality, meaningful assistance rather than a large amount of mediocre help.

4. When in doubt, give money. 

In a Biblical book that outlines wisdom, it says, "Bread is made for laughter, and wine gladdens life, and money answers everything."  (Ecclesiastes 10:19). The writer isn't saying that money is the most important thing in our lives or that we should nourish greed.  The wisdom teacher is simply stating a fact.  Money is versatile and can be used for anything.  In many cases, we are clueless how to provide help. This sense of helplessness shouldn't keep us from action. When this occurs, give money to the sufferer, their family, or a foundation they have set up.  Money can't replace love, care, and affection, but it is a clear signal to the sufferer that you are willing to sacrifice for them.

5. Don't just say you are praying, really pray.

As a pastor, I hear a number of people say to those who are suffering, "I am praying for you." However, I haven't witnessed as many people actually pray.  Prayer isn't a last resort like a "Hail Mary" at the end of a football game.  It is a quarterback's microphone connected to the coach's headset that he cries out, "Coach! I need to know the next play!" Prayer isn't empty, meaningless words said into thin air. That is, unless they aren't said to a specific deity. Prayer is calling down something greater than ourselves and begging  for its power.  I heard of a God who was once called upon by a man before his death and three days later, he was raised from it.  Like a telephone, prayer works if you dial the right number. Don't just tell someone in pain that you are praying for them. Pick up the phone, dial correctly, and beg for help.

My Friend's Son Has Cancer: A Reflection on Friendship

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Confidently walking away from freshman soccer tryouts, I was convinced of two things. I would do anything to become the best soccer player in Wilmot Union High School history and would do even more to become friends with this short, cool, athletic kid I had met at practice.

While I didn't become a Panther legend like Chris Trottier in Wilmot basketball's early 90s state championship run, proudly, I succeeded in the latter.

To say that J.T. Robinson is athletic is an understatement. Even before he was featured on the cover of extreme skiing magazines as an endorsed ski pro, everyone knew J.T. was a special talent.  

The three sport varsity letter-winner was the poster child for 20th century athletic development. Like our generation's heroes Deion Sanders and Bo Jackson, we knew that real athletes can play any sport well before they specialize in one.

Unlike the over-specialized training programs today, J.T. mastered the fundamentals the way a kid should, shooting free throws on a dimly lit driveway late into summer evenings and fielding grounders from the man who should teach him such things, his pops, Mike.

J.T.'s dad, Michael Robinson, is a red-blooded, southern Wisconsin, American man.  He earned his position as a corporate executive as his father earned his job - foregoing a college education to get married, have kids, and provide for them by the sweat of his brow. Though a shrewd Vice President, Mike is a simple man.  He married his high school sweetheart, a feisty Italian Kathy Fornero who is still out of his league, and worked at the same place of employment until his retirement. Mike and Kathy raised two boys, taught them to be respectful to women, drink Budweiser without abusing it, cheer for the Packers, despise the Bears, be fiercely loyal to friends and family, and never take what you haven't earned.

J.T. and I hit it off on the soccer pitch intially.  He was the type of athlete who could excel at anything he put his mind to and I had a moderate amount of club soccer experience that was rare in our area. When I was a young buck trying to earn a scholarship, J.T. did two things as my teammate that made my esteem for him rise; he never played outside of his limits and he passed the ball to me.

In the brutal social heirarchy of the American public school system, I felt I had an ally from the beginning. Although he was raised Catholic and my family was deeply entrenched in evangelical Protestantism, we shared enough important things that kept us from division. We received good grades due to a solid work ethic, we loved sports, and we were committed to make something of our lives and held each other to it. 

J.T.'s unassuming presence, subtle grin, and genuine interest in the well-being of his peers was effusive and served as a shock-absorber to my, at times, overbearing presence. Around him, I felt the freedom to share my crazy ideas publicly and he would spin them in a way that gave it some credibility.  As seniors, we threw a thousand dollars we earned working summer joe jobs at his dad's factory in a rebounding technology company. We were satisfied when our portfolio value rose to $1,400 within a few weeks and sold our shares of Apple. Even after we blew our earnings in a penny stock scam, we still had enough for a spring break ski trip to the Wasatch Range in Utah.

With the ladies, J.T. was never without options and eventually married the girl I took to homecoming. But, to be fair, he dated her first in middle school Catholic confirmation class. When it was time for our graduating seniors to vote for its "Most Popular," I only won the award because J.T. told the girls to vote for me.

In many ways, we were typical high school kids. We unsuccessfully tried to hide our foolishness from our parents, wanted to be liked, and tried not to get into too much trouble. In more significant ways, our experience was unique. Four of our friends died in a span of four years. The tragedy that stuck our circle at that time seared a painful reality into our souls. 

Friends can be taken in a heartbeat.

As we parted for college, we pursued the same passion down different paths. Our love for the mountains took him to the same Wasatch Range we skied as seniors as I set my face toward Denver, but returned to the Midwest after a year.

After college, he stuck with the mountains, got sponsored as a Telemark Ski Pro, and had that girl I took to homecoming follow him to the part of the country that makes Catholics from Wisconsin religiously queazy, Salt Lake City.

After I found Jesus in college, I married a sweet, hardworking, brunette evangelical, began pastoring a church, and raising a family.

Through weddings, special events, and Facebook, our respect for each other has grown as the years have passed. Our conversations have steered away from sports, skiing, and girls and toward family, faith, and legacy. When he talks, you hear his father, Mike, and I am sure my dad's voice slips into my vernacular on occasion.

Within a year of each other, we both became a father of sons: Amos Robinson and Judah Anderson. Two weeks ago, it wasn't too difficult to imagine them suiting up for the Wilmot Panthers, arguing theology late into the night, fighting on Bears-Packers game days, taking ski trips to the West, and attending each other's weddings.

But everything changed on Friday, July 11th, 2014, with three words from a pediatrician, "Amos has cancer." 

As a pastor, I deal with issues of life and death regularly. Cancer is never easy and it always feels like a punch to the soul. When a child receives the diagnosis, it feels like abuse.

Yet, as I boarded Delta flight 4616 to Salt Lake City Thursday afternoon to meet Amos for the first time, I remain convinced of two things: The unflinching goodness of God to bring hope out of difficult situations and the undying love that I have in my soul for my friend.

I pray in hope that Amos and Judah can share in the same grace of friendship that J.T. and I have enjoyed for almost 20 years.

When he is older, I look forward to teaching my son to treasure friendship while it lasts because it can be taken in a moment.

But, please God, don't take my son's friend before he has a chance to meet him.

Tonight, after praying for Amos at his bedside, I lean on God's power and treasure the thought of Judah one day cracking open a Budweiser, fishing the Fox River, and planning his ski trip to the Wasatch with his friend Amos. 

Keep updated on Amos's journey to recovery at amosrobinson1.blogspot.com

Are You a Summer Vacatiaholic?

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People today lose their souls by not setting proper boundaries for themselves for work and rest.

Workaholics joyfully spend 90+ hours a week at the office trying to get something more out of their job.

They never take vacations. They measure their lives in terms of productivity, margin, and the bottom line.  Although they may have short-term financial results, eventually the workaholic finds herself in the middle of a spiritual famine.

Why?

Because the only being that the workaholic trusts to provide for herself is, well, herself.

As soul-shiveling as workaholism is, I have noticed an equal spiritual danger.  I call it vacatiaholism. This isn’t a sinful focus on work, but on rest.  It isn’t sloth.  Sloth refuses to work.  Vacatiaholism tries to craft the perfect getaway all year, foolishly thinking that time on the beach is climax of our existence.  

A person who is a vacatiaholic takes a vacation from everything, including God.  While away, they have no need to spend time in prayer, scriptural reflection, or worship.  They tend to get angry when vacation plans change and rigidly guard their own interests for their time away. While they are at work, they constantly daydream about their faux-heavenly destination and endure the difficulty of their job because they know that someday during the summer, vacation is coming back again in glory.

Vacatiaholism is sinful because it breeds disgust for our God-given vocations and believes that heaven can be fully experienced on the lake, mountain, beach, or golf course.  It abuses the joys of rest by cultivating disdain for hard work and thus neglects God while on vacation or curses God for the work he has assigned from nine to five on Monday through Friday.

Brothers and sisters, rest is wonderful.  So great, God commanded it.  But, let’s not fool ourselves this summer into thinking that rest from our work, in and of itself, can save our souls.  Only one type of vacation can do that, resting in the finished work of Christ in his death and resurrection and placing our hope in his glorious return. 

That’s the only vacation our soul needs.

4 Things Intolerant People Do

Tolerance is the buzzword of buzzwords today.  To be tolerant is to be accepting, open-minded, thoughtful, educated, and forward-thinking, or so the argument goes.  Yet, the term is loosely thrown around and it has lost much of its meaning.  What does it really mean to be tolerant? Rather than provide an exhaustive definition, I'd like to highlight four behaviors of those who are not tolerant. 

1.  Intolerant people are closed-minded to the truth.

Closed-mindedness is a persistent, stubborn refusal to accept facts.  Being close-minded is not equivalent to holding strong convictions.  The more evidence you see of a fact, the stronger the conviction should be.  But, a conviction must be subject to new information regarding a fact. If evidence exists to invalidate a conviction, it must change. Intolerant people cannot acknowledge this.

2. Intolerant people are angered easily.

Anger is common to humanity.  We rightfully get angry when things that we value dearly are threatened or destroyed.  I am thankful that my wife would be angered if I were to blow our lifesaving at the casino.  But, there is a type of anger that is exhibited in intolerant people that responds with anger to assertions that are neither threatening nor destructive.  To be void of all anger is naive.  It accepts the way everything is as right and good, even destructive things. Truly tolerant people get angry, but don't get angered easily.  They open themselves up to constructive and respectful debate and stay away from inflammatory language that dehumanizes their dissenters.

3. Intolerant people are quick to speak and slow to listen.

A distinguishable mark of an intolerant person is someone who can't walk away from a heated argument.  They must get the final word. They can't let it go. They can't accept that people believe different things that they do.  An intolerant person hits the "send" or "post" button impulsively, doesn't hang up the phone at an appropriate time, doesn't give adequate time for thoughtful reflection, jabs opponents with unnecessary sarcasm, dehumanizes opponents by saying things like "Only an idiot would believe...," and doesn't try to restate the opposition's argument in its best possible form.

4. Intolerant people defend themselves as "more tolerant than others."

A tolerant person doesn't need prove to others how tolerant they are.  It is shown in the way they interact with those who disagree with them.  Many intolerant persons are not secure in their convictions and cannot tolerant dissension.  When an intolerant person is called out on this, they usually defend themselves and blame-shift. "I serve at a refugee camp and volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club, you are the one who can't accept the way that I live."  Underneath the moral superiority veiled as tolerance lies the heart of a person who cannot accept the fact that persons are different than they are.

As a culture, we need to engage in substantive debate over stuff that really matters.  But, let's cast off these behaviors of intolerance and get to the heart.  

There are important conversations that need to happen.  But, if we can't tolerate our initial differences, we'll never change anyone's mind.

Wisdom for New Dads from a New Dad

Recently, I was asked by a friend whose wife will be delivering their first child for some advice on fatherhood.

I don't have a ton of experience in this field, but here is my best shot at what it means to be a father. 

Being a father means being responsible.

It's your responsibility to earn a reasonable income for your entire household.

It's your job to set the realistic expectations for everyone.

You are the leader, pastor, and authority figure in your home who serves primarily by love.

You only secondarily become a friend and you never become one who seeks to be "liked" at the expense of doing what is right.

You don't have the luxury of spending money frivolously.

You can't entertain yourself with time-consuming hobbies.  

Your "free-time" is no longer your own. 

The lion share of your effort is spent in the upkeep of the spiritual, emotional, intellectual, financial, and physical needs of your family which trumps any potential selfish interest.

It means being the first person in your family to wake up in the morning, the last one to go to sleep, the first one to hug your hurting child, and the last one to respond impatiently.  

It means correcting your children's error, putting down your phone when it's time to play, learning how to put together and transport an awkward stroller, driving safer than every crazy person on the interstate, killing any desire within you for worldly stardom, and earning the continued respect of your wife.

Being a father means rejecting lies about fatherhood.

It means you must fight against the destructive stereotypes that are presented of unengaged, undisciplined, and aloof fathers in the media.

It means resisting the constant temptation to treat your marriage like a partnership of shared responsibility that empowers laziness by casting blame upon your wife for the mistakes of your children.

It means owning failure, taking responsibility, and repenting daily.

Being a father means enjoying your children's growth at every stage of life.

It means delighting in God's grace, stewarding a life that you do not own, caring for it as your own body, and training your child in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.

It means celebrating your child's accomplishments like pottytraining, learning the alphabet, memorizing a catechism of the Christian faith, performing in a dance recital, and working hard at your kid's first soccer practice.

It means weeping with them when they get picked on by their first bully, fearlessly releasing them to live in a fallen world with confidence in the resurrection, and resting assured that God's sovereignty extends over every square inch of your child's existence.

Being a father means being a Christian.

It means teaching your children the importance of the gospel and modeling it in every word and action.

It means treating human beings with the respect and dignity they deserve as image-bearers of God.

It means humbling yourself when you are in error and apologizing to your child for your sin.

It means courageously speaking truth even when mocked and scorned by others.

It means taking your shots without ducking so that the bullets don't hit your family.

It means getting back up, while wounded, and doing it again.

It means praying without ceasing, loving without expecting a return, and serving without desiring a positive response.

To be a good father, one must be a good son.

To be a good son, one needs a good father.

Brother, you have a perfect Father and he loves you as his son.

Never forget that and your children will have a great dad.

An Open Letter to Donald Sterling

Dear Donald,

Can I tell you a story about a rich man who was ridiculed by society?

It happened a long time ago to a man who we will call "Zack."  

He was worse than a racist.  He was a traitor to his own people.  He earned his wealth cheating and defrauding his fellow countrymen. He advocated for a regime that was oppressing, marginalizing, and murdering his own kinsmen.

The government supported him.  But, the people hated him.

He was rich. But, he was very lonely.

Whenever he entered a room, people complained and looked at him with disdain. 

"What a greedy, rotten man!" they would say.

One day, Zack heard about a dynamic, young spiritual teacher who was coming to his city. Zack thought to himself, "Everyone hates me, but maybe this guy can provide some help."

Zack risked public ridicule and joined the crowds who were going to see this teacher. 

As the teacher was walking through crowds, he saw Zack. He looked him in the eyes and said, "Zack, I'm coming over to your house tonight."

No one was willing to even be seen in public with Zack, let alone speak with him or stay at his house.

The crowds were baffled. "This teacher is going to hang out with a disgusting man like Zack!" they said, unable to withhold their scorn.

Zack's joy, however, could not be contained.  This teacher was changing his life.

Right then. Right there.

Zack was so happy, he gave away half of his wealth to the poor and promised to pay back everyone he had defrauded four-fold.

The spiritual teacher said, "Today, this man's life has been saved."

Right now, Donald, the world is against you. In fact, many have said, "There isn't room in the world for a man like you."

But, the spiritual man who saved Zack's life can save yours as well.

Right here. Right now.

His name is Jesus.

He is not ashamed to be seen in public with you. He loves you. He will forgive you. He will take your racist heart upon himself, change you, and give you a new life.

Right now, he is spiritually looking you in the eyes and saying, "Donald, I am coming over to your house tonight."

As a pastor who has seen Jesus change many lives like yours, I humbly ask, "How are you going to respond?"

With love,
Pastor Karl

 

New Band, "Temples," Overthrows Fluffy Christian Music with Debut Album

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Those with a robust view of Christian theology generally have little appreciation for the kitchy, knock-off pop that masquerades itself as Christian music today.

"It's trivial."

"Positive and encouraging doesn't reflect the depth and breadth of Christian spirituality."

"If I hear another version of the same worship song by a different artist, I am going to throw my totally depraved fist through these speakers."

If you know the names Calvin, Knox, Edwards, Wesley, and Augustine, I am sure you are well acquainted with these criticisms.

This is why "Against the Grain" stands among few today who seek authentic artistic expression of a faithful theological pilgrimage.

From the opening track, "At the Fountain" to the haunting keys of "Creature," and concluding with the recorded-on-site-in-Papua-New-Guinea, "Chambri," the album puts dirt underneath the fingernails of Christians seeking solace in place that is east of Eden and far from home.

The title track, "Against the Grain" headlines this sobering, yet joyful, reality.  Good Friday hurt. For both the sinner and the Savior, we are speaking of an event where "bloody amniotic fluid" was split. The cross isn't jewelry and shouldn't conjure up the same feelings as a romantic comedy. Those seeking a God without wrath and a cross without blood should look elsewhere.

We should expect no less from front-men, Matt Taylor and Joel Nash. These young men are on a bee-line to pour out their lives for the sake of the gospel among the most remote peoples of the world.

Taylor's vocals are reminiscent of a more masculine Dashboard Confessional and Nash's earthy range is eerily similar to that of David Crowder. Both are fully displayed with a backcountry-screamo twist in "Homesick".

In modern Christian worship, reciting repeatedly, "I am a Friend of God," warms the soul and tickles the ears of most congregations.  But, how many pew-warmers would embrace a heaven that contained nothing but Jesus?  In "Bare White Walls," Nash stands in the place of the psalmist and boasts, "Whom Have I in heaven but you, I have nobody, If Heaven's just a room with bare white walls, that's all I'll ever need."

Additionally, Christian musicians who are willing to challenge the listeners mushy commitment are few and far between. As, "Missing Workers" echoes God's commands, "Spit out the salt, its lost all its taste, not good to season, a lukewarm disgrace." It's apparent that Nash and Taylor have reflected on the true cost of wasting their lives on eternally meaningless things and aren't afraid of calling their audience to do the same.

Yet, in its gritty display of scriptural faithfulness, the album doesn't suffer from missiological snobbery.  The music is delightfully singable.  Though it is only a minute and forty eight seconds long, "Invitation" lives up to its name.  As its opening verse closes reflecting on the fallenness of the human heart, the chorus, "Lord, let your kingdom reign!" is anthemic. It's not hard to imagine an unaware seventeen year old belting it out at a stoplight when driving alone.

From there, the album transitions seamlessly into the upbeat, yet rooted, "Tree Song," the track is a delicious sonic and spiritual feast. If a listener didn't know that sanctification doesn't move apart from the sovereign oversight of God's gracious pruning, it is explicitly clear when Colossians 1:15-20 and Psalm 1 are recited as a bridge.

If the album suffers from anything, it is perhaps the overly used acoustic guitar and spots where it is pretty clear that recording was done in an apartment.

But, make no mistake, "Temples" isn't going anywhere.  

According to Revelation 5:9, the redeemed will be singing about the man who was put "Against the Grain" for awhile. 

Download your digital copy here and leave a tip for Matt and Joel.

 

 

3 Marks of False Teachers

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False teaching exists in every generation.  From Judas, to the Judiazers in Galatia, to the 21st century peddlers of religion, the church's ranks are constantly infiltrated.  But, how can you spot a false teacher?

Although this list isn't exhaustive, let me offer three identifiers from the scriptures.

1. False teachers deny or manipulate Jesus. 

A false teacher may be able to draw large crowds, stun an audience with grandiose displays of rhetorical flourish, and, perhaps, even teach a few biblical things along the way.  But, at some point, a false teacher modifies the personal, visible, tangible, flesh-and-blood, incarnation of God in Jesus Christ. Whether it is denying or truncating his humanity like Gnostics, the Docetians, or Apollinarians, or denying his deity like the Ebions, Arians, or their modern day cousins the Jehovah's Witnesses, a false teacher is intentionally sloppy when it comes to the doctrine of Jesus. As John would say, "every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God."  (1 John 4:2b-3a).  If the teacher tweaks Jesus, even slightly, for any reason, he isn't speaking from or for God.

2. False teachers draw Christians away from Christ and toward themselves. 

Whether it is Diotrephes (3 John 9-10), Hymenaeus and Philetus (2 Timothy 2:17-18), the circumcision party (Titus 1:10-11), or the wolves in sheep's clothing in Ephesus (Acts 20:29-30), one of the clear signs of a false teacher is the long-term results of their ministry.  It does not matter if they lead a megachurch of 5,000 or a backwoods congregation of 50.  A false teacher is in it for themselves, not Christ.  What is the fruit of the teacher's ministry?  Do they lead the church toward deeper godliness, conviction, sacrificial love, holiness, truth, joy, and worship of Jesus or does the teacher gather a cult following for themselves?  

3. False teachers are lead by their own passions, not the Holy Spirit.

False teachers are usually passionate, ambitious, "take-charge" types of leaders, but they can also be quiet, introverted, bloggers.  Certainly, in themselves, none of those traits are sinful.  However, when a teacher is motivated by shameful gain, pride, or lust, it is most likely that you aren't dealing with a proclaimer of the truth. Discerning this is simple.  Who is in charge of their ministry?  A false teacher isn't willing to submit themselves to godly authority within the church.  They do not seek out personal accountability. They do not hold themselves and the people they lead to a statement of faith that outlines Christian essentials.  They manifest continual, unrepentant pride, even after being repeatedly rebuked. They indulge in and/or tolerate sexual perversion. They constantly complain. They are never content. They are loud-mouthed boasters of their church's size or "faithfulness," exponential growth or "lack of compromise,"  platform influence or  "expositional rigor," inclusive ministry or "doctrinal purity" (see Jude 8-16). If a pattern of these things emerge, then you are not dealing with a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ. You have a wolf who is devouring the sheep and needs to be shot.

May God give you and your congregation the courage to confront what is evil and cling to what is good as you pursue Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit to the glory of God for the sake of the gospel.

 

8 Propositions for Reacting to Prop 8 Ruling

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Tomorrow morning the Supreme Court of the United States will release their ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act and Proposition 8 in California. For my own personal well-being, I am not going to comment on the rulings and their implications for our society for at least a month, if ever. As a pastor of an evangelical church in the far west suburbs of Chicago, I have already said more than enough on this topic.  You can contact me privately if you would like my opinion.  My contact information is available here.

In light of this ruling, however, I am putting forth the following eight propositions for healthy online and social media interaction in the next few days in the hope that we can actually make progress as a society.

These propositions emerge from the belief that there is nothing more important to our democracy than civil debate on substantive matters.  It is no secret that our opinions are heavily shaped by what and who we interact with online.  Therefore, I suggest that the following propositions govern our discourse tomorrow morning.

1.  Don't overreact.

If you get the ruling you desire, don't gloat. If you don't, don't sulk or throw a pity party. Win with humility. Lose with dignity.

2. Don't name call.

Not all supporters of DOMA are bigots. Not all persons who support the legalization of same-sex marriage are naive.

3. Accept the ruling.

Perhaps our current system is imbalanced and places too much weight on Supreme Court decisions. However, we live in a society that can peacefully overthrow their rulers every few years. Each citizen has the power to leverage their opinion on how our country should be governed. We should work through the proper channels with the utmost integrity toward the vision for our country that promotes justice and human flourishing. Even if you vehemently disagree with the Supreme Court ruling on this matter, you can help make the change. However, make sure you do so honorably. 

4. Only post statements that invite civil debate.

We should understand our opponents argument in its best form. Only disagree with views that your opponents would own themselves. We should not create straw men to strike down that don't exist.

5. Don't quote most talk radio show hosts or the majority of cable news anchorpersons.

Most radio talk show hosts and the majority of cable news anchorpersons are ideologues who are concerned with growing an audience at any expense. Either way the ruling goes, they will make statements to rally their supporters and stir the pot. They are not healthy communicators who facilitate a healthy exchange of ideas.  They are verbal drug dealers who give their audiences ideological crack that does more harm than good. Their logic isn't sound. Their emotion isn't wedded to truth. And, they are not open-minded in a way that invites civil discourse.

6. Use facts.

Only utilize verifiable, quantified, reasoned, facts in our discourse.  Religious facts are fair game. But, they are subject to criticism as any other fact claim is. If anyone decides to make a religious argument, they should quote scriptures in their proper context with a view of the faith that the majority of its adherents would own. If anyone quotes medical or sociological research, understand the ideology and biases of the association that is putting forth their data. Do not be naive. Every group has biases. Before quoting research as factual, make sure you understand the intended goals of the association and their limitations. These things shape their methodology and color their results. For example, a religious organization might not take scientific research seriously that challenges their faith. But, in the same breath, a psychological organization might attempt to explain away experiences of subjects that do not fit their predetermined psychological grid.

7. Speak with humans not ideas.

Each person in the United States has a right to a political opinion. No matter how passionately you disagree with the person, make sure you are communicating with your opponent in a humane manner. If you don't, you have lost the argument before it starts.

8. Fight fair, but be informed.

One side of this debate is wrong. This is worth fighting for. Remaining neutral on this issue hurts the side of truth and supports error. Get informed. Remain civil. Have some courage. Own your opinion. Be open-minded, tolerant (in the true sense of the world by listening to those who are different from you), and loving (putting yourself in the shoes of those you disagree with). And, lastly, for the sake of your neighbors and your country, fight for the truth. It's worth it.

 

BORN THIS WAY: CHRISTIANS AND HOMOSEXUALITY

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It doesn't take a graduate degree in sociology to notice that homosexuality is a polarizing issue.  But, it shouldn't be. Homosexuality tells us something profound about ourselves that should be embraced, not condemned. It is not limited to the 2% of Americans who identify themselves as homosexual persons, but all of us.

In his  book, The Millenials, Thom Rainer highlights the chasm that exists in American opinion. Among Millenials (born 1980-2000) with no religious background, 85% are in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage.  Yet, in the same age demographic, those who ascribe to basic core beliefs of the Christian faith, only 16% approve.

Christian doctrine isn't changing on this.  Neither are  homosexual persons.  

A decade before Donald Miller made the practice hip in the early 2000's, the pastor ​of our church went to an open forum hosted by Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual persons.  The purpose of the forum was to provide information to the community about homosexuality.  Our pastor read aloud an "Apology Letter to Homosexuals."  While standing firm in his Christian conviction that homosexual behavior is outside of God's intended design for sexuality, he expressed a deep, heartfelt apology for Christians who have responded to homosexual persons with self-righteousness. As the tears streamed down the face of many at the forum, the room erupted in applause and our pastor received a standing ovation.

However, it is no longer the 1990s and a similar reaction to a letter written by a Christian pastor seems far-fetched. Today, any mention of the sinfulness of homosexual behavior is met with stern opposition.  Even Joel Osteen, America's most polite pastor, wasn't able to say that homosexuality is a sin without coming under criticism on CNN this week.

In the last two decades, homosexuality has gained more cultural traction than many anticipated.  Modern Family, Glee, and The New Normal display a much more affirming attitude toward homosexual behavior than when shows starring Urkel, Zack Morris, and Uncle Jesse remained silent on the issue.

While Christians might wish to the contrary, homosexuality isn't going anywhere.

But, a response of fear isn't warranted. Christians who do not approve of homosexual behavior​ are also here to stay. So, how do we move forward? 

Most importantly, we must practice the ancient discipline of listening. Not talking past one another or at one another, but to one another. In order to do this, I think the best place to start involves a mutual understanding of human depravity.​

On one side, homosexual persons have received slander, hatred, and violence that has been born out of the self-righteousness of many different groups.  They have been belittled, maligned, bullied, and, in its worst cases, killed for who they believe themselves to be.  Rightfully, this behavior is offensive to homosexual persons. Like blue eyes or blond hair, many homosexual persons do not believe that they were able to choose their sexual orientation.  Because of this, engaging in homosexual behavior naturally follows.  Thus, to be discriminated against for such things, is the essence of intolerance and is as egregious as racism.  In light of the widespread pain homosexual persons have suffered, I doubt that any homosexual person believes that human beings are innately incorrupt.

On the other side, Christians are offended by homosexual behavior. Not because it is threatening to the sexual behavior of Christians, but because they believe it is offensive to their God and damaging to their world. Christians believe that every human being, regardless of gender, family, or skin color, is made in the image of God, created by God, and has dignity, value, and worth (Genesis 1:27). Because Christians believe their God has created each human being, it naturally follows that he has the right to become offended their behavior. Moreover, Christians believe that every human being has become offensive to God and acts wickedly after the first two humans voluntarily displeased God (Gen. 3).  Presently, all humans are born inclined toward evil and predisposed to act on wicked behaviors (Romans 3:10-12). This is why children lie to their parents and adults cheat on their taxes.  Christians do not believe that humans are simply born with rough edges that need to be sanded off, but with hearts and minds that are deceptive and wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). Because of this, Christians do not try to decide whether they, or their actions, are right or wrong on the basis of their own feelings, attitudes, or inclinations, but on the basis of their God's rightful perspective of them and others.  Similar to a son who is offended when a thief steals from his parents, Christians become offended at the behavior of others that displease their God. Truly, they can't help it. It would be denying their deepest understanding of who they are as persons created in the image of God and accountable to God.

It is interesting that both Christians and homosexual persons are offended when they encounter human depravity.  Homosexual persons cannot choose their sexual orientation and thus have suffered evil at the hands of those who act as superior persons to them. Christians cannot choose whether or not to be offended at homosexual behavior and thus cannot condone it.  If Christians and homosexual persons can agree that human depravity demands that we live, move, and have our being among persons who will offend us, a real conversation about human sexuality can follow. The real question is, can we humble ourselves  long enough to have it?​

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