Tolerance is the buzzword of buzzwords today. To be tolerant is to be accepting, open-minded, thoughtful, educated, and forward-thinking, or so the argument goes. Yet, the term is loosely thrown around and it has lost much of its meaning. What does it really mean to be tolerant? Rather than provide an exhaustive definition, I'd like to highlight four behaviors of those who are not tolerant.

1. Intolerant people are closed-minded to the truth.

Closed-mindedness is a persistent, stubborn refusal to accept facts. Being close-minded is not equivalent to holding strong convictions. The more evidence you see of a fact, the stronger the conviction should be. But, a conviction must be subject to new information regarding a fact. If evidence exists to invalidate a conviction, it must change. Intolerant people cannot acknowledge this.

2. Intolerant people are angered easily.

Anger is common to humanity. We rightfully get angry when things that we value dearly are threatened or destroyed. I am thankful that my wife would be angered if I were to blow our lifesaving at the casino. But, there is a type of anger that is exhibited in intolerant people that responds with anger to assertions that are neither threatening nor destructive. To be void of all anger is naive. It accepts the way everything is as right and good, even destructive things. Truly tolerant people get angry, but don't get angered easily. They open themselves up to constructive and respectful debate and stay away from inflammatory language that dehumanizes their dissenters.

3. Intolerant people are quick to speak and slow to listen.

A distinguishable mark of an intolerant person is someone who can't walk away from a heated argument. They must get the final word. They can't let it go. They can't accept that people believe different things that they do. An intolerant person hits the "send" or "post" button impulsively, doesn't hang up the phone at an appropriate time, doesn't give adequate time for thoughtful reflection, jabs opponents with unnecessary sarcasm, dehumanizes opponents by saying things like "Only an idiot would believe...," and doesn't try to restate the opposition's argument in its best possible form.

4. Intolerant people defend themselves as "more tolerant than others."

A tolerant person doesn't need prove to others how tolerant they are. It is shown in the way they interact with those who disagree with them. Many intolerant persons are not secure in their convictions and cannot tolerant dissension. When an intolerant person is called out on this, they usually defend themselves and blame-shift. "I serve at a refugee camp and volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club, you are the one who can't accept the way that I live." Underneath the moral superiority veiled as tolerance lies the heart of a person who cannot accept the fact that persons are different than they are.

As a culture, we need to engage in substantive debate over stuff that really matters. But, let's cast off these behaviors of intolerance and get to the heart.

There are important conversations that need to happen. But, if we can't tolerate our initial differences, we'll never change anyone's mind.