Recently, I was asked by a friend whose wife will be delivering their first child for some advice on fatherhood.

I don't have a ton of experience in this field, but here is my best shot at what it means to be a father.

Being a father means being responsible.

It's your responsibility to earn a reasonable income for your entire household.

It's your job to set the realistic expectations for everyone.

You are the leader, pastor, and authority figure in your home who serves primarily by love.

You only secondarily become a friend and you never become one who seeks to be "liked" at the expense of doing what is right.

You don't have the luxury of spending money frivolously.

You can't entertain yourself with time-consuming hobbies.

Your "free-time" is no longer your own.

The lion share of your effort is spent in the upkeep of the spiritual, emotional, intellectual, financial, and physical needs of your family which trumps any potential selfish interest.

It means being the first person in your family to wake up in the morning, the last one to go to sleep, the first one to hug your hurting child, and the last one to respond impatiently.

It means correcting your children's error, putting down your phone when it's time to play, learning how to put together and transport an awkward stroller, driving safer than every crazy person on the interstate, killing any desire within you for worldly stardom, and earning the continued respect of your wife.

Being a father means rejecting lies about fatherhood.

It means you must fight against the destructive stereotypes that are presented of unengaged, undisciplined, and aloof fathers in the media.

It means resisting the constant temptation to treat your marriage like a partnership of shared responsibility that empowers laziness by casting blame upon your wife for the mistakes of your children.

It means owning failure, taking responsibility, and repenting daily.

Being a father means enjoying your children's growth at every stage of life.

It means delighting in God's grace, stewarding a life that you do not own, caring for it as your own body, and training your child in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.

It means celebrating your child's accomplishments like pottytraining, learning the alphabet, memorizing a catechism of the Christian faith, performing in a dance recital, and working hard at your kid's first soccer practice.

It means weeping with them when they get picked on by their first bully, fearlessly releasing them to live in a fallen world with confidence in the resurrection, and resting assured that God's sovereignty extends over every square inch of your child's existence.

Being a father means being a Christian.

It means teaching your children the importance of the gospel and modeling it in every word and action.

It means treating human beings with the respect and dignity they deserve as image-bearers of God.

It means humbling yourself when you are in error and apologizing to your child for your sin.

It means courageously speaking truth even when mocked and scorned by others.

It means taking your shots without ducking so that the bullets don't hit your family.

It means getting back up, while wounded, and doing it again.

It means praying without ceasing, loving without expecting a return, and serving without desiring a positive response.

To be a good father, one must be a good son.

To be a good son, one needs a good father.

Brother, you have a perfect Father and he loves you as his son.

Never forget that and your children will have a great dad.